• As you change over time so do and must your relationships and this applies throughout all relationships in your life.  After a relationship  is formed (typically 1-2 years) it is common to start noticing differences in opinions and beliefs - this is normal and thought of as a period of discovery.  Sometimes during this period it is appears easier and better for the relationship to hold back on differences in opinion and not to air any concerns.  However, avoiding as such and failing to discuss any conflicts does not make them go away, if issues are talked about and not accompanied by problem solving it tends to increase frustration and put distance between two people in a relationship.  These struggles at their extreme can ultimately lead to seeking to do things separately rather than facing any conflict together.  From these apparent small indiscretions problems can occur and the stability of the relationship may be questioned - leading to a fork in the road:

1.  Feelings of disillusion,so pulling away further with the possibility of resulting in separation.
2. Or stop and recognise that not enough effort has been made to strengthen the relationship or investment made by either party to resolve the conflicts.

Some tips for a healthy relationship

1. To feel good about your relationship you should have positive thoughts about it/them in your heart and head (obviously not possible all of the time).
2. An enduring commitment to get through the good and bad times together.
3. A considerable effort to share and cooperate in each others lives.
4. Make sure your partner feels included in all you do, family, friends and work.
5. When life becomes hectic sill ensure that you allocate adequate time for just each other.
6. Validate and recognise your partner, who they are and what they believe.  Take time to listen and reflect with understanding.  Accept and acknowledge how they feel even if their view differs from yours, you may still appreciate their viewpoint.

Divorce

• Sometimes it is not possible to eliminate all conflicts in a relationship, however by improving your coping skills it can help to alleviate stress, so you may view things from a different perspective.  In an ideal world you would be able to evaluate your problems, resolve them together effectively and know when it may be necessary to seek professional help.  However, all of this a joint responsibility and a contribution and a willingness to make changes when needed is required.
  
  Divorce is considered to be one of the most stressful life experiences to endure, however as with all major changes it can be a time of new opportunity and beginnings.  It can be viewed as a time to grow personally, learn and develop new relationships and skills.  However, first you must understand how the divorce has affected you both emotionally and physically - to be able to acknowledge and come to terms with your feelings. 
  
  For most divorce is an immensely stressful time where you can feel very vulnerable, alone, afraid and uncertain of the future but you can and will with the right frame of reference learn to deal with this huge life change and even go on to thrive. Most importantly use your social resources, find positive ways to deal with your feelings and do not be afraid to seek help.